2021: Making it count!
Hey hey hey! (in Grandma Maggie’s voices from instant mom, watched the show, no?) It’s been a long time since I have been on these medium streets! Well, five months to be exact.
So how has the year been? For me, it’s been one hell of a year! I just sat down yesterday and I realized how I intentionally missed out on writing so many great pieces because I was not in the right mental space. I never got to write about my mid-year goals like I always do on my birthday and this post may hopefully, make up for that.
I had so many plans at the beginning of the year and so many goals I wanted to achieve despite covid and all. Honestly, most of them were materialistic..save up for a trip, buy something extra ..you know those kinds of goals. Then something tragic happened and everything shifted. I lost the most important man in my life, my dad.
Everything was at a standstill for me. If you know me well, you would know my dad meant the world to me and his loss devastated me to a point I didn’t want to do anything. I kept wishing life would have just stopped and let me cry my heart out but life had to move on and I cried when I couldn’t bear it anymore.
This post isn’t going to be about that part of my life because one, I don’t want any pity. Some things are part of life that no matter what, we can’t avoid it and two, for me to not write for all these months is to avoid writing mushy stuff that sounds sad and pitiful.
I have been on a healing journey. Contrary to what I had planned at the beginning of the year. I have been through a phase of so much anger and tears but more so a phase where I realized what mattered the most. Not my job or going on expensive trips. But just being a whole self, being with family and people who matter the most, and having a relationship with my God.
My priorities shift from just wanting to enjoy life to finding joy and happiness in each day I get to live. Each day I ask myself what was amazing about today? What did I do that made my soul happy? I now hold my family closer than before. I am not taking any moment for granted with anyone I meet. The greatest thing, however, is I have come to see things (material) that are temporary as they are and I can easily let go of them.
I am not even close to saying I am doing okay, but the fact that I can write this blog means a lot to me. I look forward to doing the things that give me that joy like reading books, cooking, writing, playing with water at the beach (because a girl does not know how to swim and is not prioritizing swimming classes for now), working out for fun, reading the bible..oh! and coding (because I was out of touch with it)
I don’t have a clear plan on how to do all these. With all honesty, I just go with the flow. I don't want to create a plan or give myself timelines. I just want to enjoy the process and be intentional.
I also look forward to therapy. There is always a misconception about people who go to therapy but I have always loved the thought of talking to a stranger about what is going on in my life and how to handle it, so therapy it is!
It goes without saying that this year has also had its sweet moments like saying yes I do to my king and moving back home . That was a big transition that I wasn’t sure of initially but turned out to be a blessing.
All in all, I can’t wait to see the end of this year but for now, I am making the months’ left count and I hope you do too!
Love, Racheal
